A man who need never dine alone

Hugh Hewitt is a strange man. His blog advertises "exclusive sailing with Hugh Hewitt" with a picture of smilin' Hugh that's chilling enough to freeze a gas oven. Hewitt, one of those happy souls in whose own company he's never bored, wrote a book last in 2007 in which he delineated the ways in which a Governor Mitt "Mittens" Romney campaign would be credible to a GOP "movement conservative" base tolerant of iconoclasm as long as the candidate eventually recants.

Day after wearisome day, Hewitt has proselytized for Romney, and in the carbuncled echo chamber of movement conservatism it produced satisfying effects; insofar as Rudy Giuliani had any competition in the heady days of 2007, it came from the Stormin' Mormon. As Huckabee and McCain started winning early races, Hewitt's efforts got more touching. So devoted was he to his Grinning God that there was no semantic evasion -- no abasement of the language -- to which he wouldn't subject himself. If you can forgive the attempt at Freudian analysis, I'd like to think that the nascent Orwell fascination in some conservatives stems from a silent plea for approval -- a breath from his nostrils would enliven the Brand X obfuscation of their prose (proud liberals should test their tolerance for heterodoxy and dip into Hewitt's blog and The Corner more often; Ned's the only other friend who indulges himself thusly, and he probably eats Fritos with lunch too)

But on to Hewitt, and his post today on the retirement of Mittens Romney:

Governor Romney is an incredibly gifted man --intelligent in the way very few people are, charismatic, and blessed with an amiable openness and determined, strong character.

He is a good man, and his very successful run towards the presidency is a testament to his talents. His magnificent family represents an achievement in the private sphere that he shares with Ann Romney and which was reflected in his accomplishments in business, at the Olympics and in Massachusetts.

Because he is a very good man, a great conservative and an extraordinary patriot he is standing aside to allow Senator McCain's national campaign to commence. There were excellent reasons for Romney to stay in the hunt, including the opportunity to score some impressive victories in places like Ohio, which might have served Romney well in any future campaign.

To which Nicole of ILX posted the only possible response:

Governor Romney is an incredibly gifted man --intelligent in the way very few people are, charismatic, and blessed with an amiable openness and determined, strong character, shoulder-length, sun-streaked blond hair, sparkling blue-green eyes the color of the Caribbean, cameo skin, and a perfect size-six figure.